Friday, May 9, 2008

Cheese Around the SEC, Part 4

We have come to the end of our miniseries on Cheese Around the SEC, and we end with a doozy.


You are the cheesiest man currently associated with the SEC. You have a radio show here in Alabama, and one of your favorite topics to talk about is how awesome you are. I have it on good authority that when you start talking about your "glory days", it's not the Tide that rolls. The only rolling that goes on are the eyes of people who were there at the time of your glory.

It's also clear you take a lot of credit for a lot of wins that had a lot more to do with David Palmer and stellar defensive play than anything you did at quarterback. As a quarterback, you were certainly pretty good, but I don't think you were any better, really, than Matt Mauck or Matt Flynn. Like those two guys, however, you had a really good team around you that allowed you to have success. Unlike those guys (so far), you have traded on that success and that image to an extent that is kind of embarrassing.

You parlayed your successful college career and your brief professional career as a backup (I couldn't find any statistics from your days with the Patriots) into a career of doing car dealership commercials, talking about how Godly you are, dating celebrities, and discussing how different today's generation of kids is from when you were a kid with their refusal to say "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" and not bowing their heads or genuflecting at you or their coaches. I am part of your generation, and I can tell you that kids today are no different than we were when we were kids. You just use this as a way of bragging about how humble you are.

Jay Barker, you are a man carved from a block of cheese.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

absolutely awesome

Anonymous said...

The cheese series has been excellent.

Rollie Fingers.

Joshua said...

Thoroughly enjoying these. Your traffic should shot through the roof since I just linked this.

Anonymous said...

Ditto. This was great.

Godly as in he thinks that he is a god or God, or that he is very pious?

-Daniel

Richard Pittman said...

Thanks. I enjoyed doing this. I came up with the idea a few weeks ago, and just kept working on it and working on it until I figured out how to post it.

And "Godly" as in pious.

jimherehi said...

Great series. I talked it up at work.

The Last Dragon said...

Funny stuff. But I'm still jealous. I only wish I had something to ride the rest of my life so I didn't have to do anything.